Welcome to a weekly podcast where I’ll take physicians’ commonly held stressful beliefs and go through an inquiry process on each. I have recorded the questions so that you can listen and follow along, providing your own answers to the questions. It’s important to find YOUR OWN answers that feel true and genuine in your life. I’ve provided the recordings as a tool for slowing yourself down and taking the time to allow these questions to sit inside.
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*This process is based on The Work by Byron Katie. For more information, visit www.thework.com.
Today’s belief is “People need me to respond.”
The questions:
Is it true?
Can you know that it is absolutely, 100% true?
How do you react, and how do you behave, when you believe the thought, “People need me to respond”?
What is the payoff you get for believing the thought, “People need me to respond”?
What are you afraid might happen if you didn’t believe the thought, “People need me to respond”?
Who would you be, and how would you behave, if you didn’t believe the thought, “People need me to respond”?
Now turn the thought around, as I have done below. Find three genuine examples in your life for how each of these new thoughts is as true as the original thought.
I used to believe that music is something we do. Now I know that music is who we are.
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Last night I performed with Randy Bales (guitar, vocals) and Cathy Luo (percussion, bass) at the unique, cozy, and inviting Angelica's Bistro in Redwood City, California. (See this NY Times article about the "rebirth" of downtown Redwood City.) I've written a bit about the experience of preparing for this gig. Last night the learning continued, as I recognized that I had always seen music as a set of skills I had, a job that I did, a responsibility like my education. I was very dedicated and disciplined about practicing and building my skills in music, and I had many opportunities to perform on great stages around the world as a very young child. As with most of my accomplishments in life, I never acknowledged myself. I went through life seeking acknowledgment from others, believing that the more I did, the more likely I would be to receive what I most wanted. What may appear to an outside observer to be ambition, determination, and drive, was in fact the passionate pursuit of acknowledgment from others.
I did not realize at the time that what I really wanted was to acknowledge myself, and to believe in myself without needing to constantly seek approval. I did not have that skill, because I was so busy practicing how to see what was missing from my life. I was so busy doing more, that I failed to receive the acknowledgment that was already available to me at every step of the way. Even if others were acknowledging me, I could not see it for what it was, because I had not honed those skills of recognition. I knew how to receive criticism, and I knew how to drive myself to do more. Those were my greatest skills.
In my recent journey with personal growth through music, I have come to experience, in my body and spirit, the deep acknowledgment of self that can come through making music. You cannot "do" music. Everything you offer in music-making is an expression of who you are. There is beauty in all of it. But if you are doing music in order to receive acknowledgment from others, you will miss a very fundamental opportunity.
I have learned, by total immersion in my greatest fears and weaknesses, to acknowledge myself and others through the experience of music improvisation. The backdrop of this was my extensive training in classical music - as soloist, accompanist, in a violin ensemble, and in symphony orchestras. I learned a toolbox of skills during those years. I learned a certain auditory and visual vocabulary.
What I didn't learn was to acknowledge the tender human part of myself and others through music. Improvisation - starting with the beautiful emptiness of not knowing, then being thrown into a brand new sonic world and just feeling my way around - has introduced me to this human dimension of music. Having no time to be self-critical, having no script to reassure me what the "right" notes are, listening intensely to others, owning what I feel and offering it in the moment -- all of these have begun to show me, very gently and gradually, who I am. As I face my fears, I also face an opportunity either to acknowledge myself including all of my imperfections, or to fear the withdrawal of acknowledgment from others. The old me still surfaces as a habit of criticizing myself, judging the weaknesses in my performances, and wondering why I have the audacity to believe I can do this.
Now, I choose to acknowledge myself. I choose to honor the process and the courage it takes to do something brand new. I choose to dare to trust myself. I choose to risk my significance in the world. I choose to be gentle and kind to myself through all of this.
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Music is healing because it allows us to feel. As listeners, we love music because it goes straight to a part of us that we feel deeply, yet conceal, suppress, or avoid in our daily lives. As makers of music, we heal because we tap into those feelings and give them expression through vibration. We share our story. We share who we are in sound.
I've always had a rich tone and fire to my violin playing, but I have never seen my violin as a vehicle to transport me to the place of my greatest vulnerability, to observe myself, to feel deeply, and to heal the pain of the past.
For me, music is so much more than performing and practicing. It is feeling and healing.
Enjoy these audio clips from our live performance last night!
Singer/songwriter Shawn Evans joined us onstage to perform his original song, "I Believe", which I had never heard before. Wish you could see the visual of this, because we were all standing and moving with the groove of this uplifting song!
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These three clips give you a taste of Randy Bales' vocal expression and range (and me playing around on my violin). All new songs for me!
Welcome to a weekly podcast where I'll take physicians' commonly held stressful beliefs and go through an inquiry process on each. I have recorded the questions so that you can listen and follow along, providing your own answers to the questions. It's important to find YOUR OWN answers that feel true and genuine in your life. I've provided the recordings as a tool for slowing yourself down and taking the time to allow these questions to sit inside.
[display_podcast]
*This process is based on The Work by Byron Katie. For more information, visit www.thework.com.
Today's belief is "Patients demand my time."
The questions:
Is it true?
Can you know that it is absolutely, 100% true?
How do you react, and how do you behave, when you believe the thought, “Patients demand my time”?
What is the payoff you get for believing the thought, “Patients demand my time”?
What are you afraid might happen if you didn’t believe the thought, “Patients demand my time”?
Who would you be, and how would you behave, if you didn’t believe the thought, “Patients demand my time”?
Now turn the thought around, as I have done below. Find three genuine examples in your own life for how each of these turnarounds is as true as (or perhaps truer than) the original thought.
Welcome to a weekly podcast where I'll take physicians' commonly held stressful beliefs and go through an inquiry process on each. I have recorded the questions so that you can listen and follow along, providing your own answers to the questions. It's important to find YOUR OWN answers that feel true and genuine in your life. I've provided the recordings as a tool for slowing yourself down and taking the time to allow these questions to sit inside.
[display_podcast]
*This process is based on The Work by Byron Katie. For more information, visit www.thework.com.
Today's belief is "I am surrounded by illness and suffering."
The questions:
Is it true?
Can you know that it is absolutely, 100% true?
How do you react, and how do you behave, when you believe the thought, “I am surrounded by illness and suffering”?
What is the payoff you get for believing the thought, “I am surrounded by illness and suffering”?
What are you afraid might happen if you didn’t believe the thought, “I am surrounded by illness and suffering”?
Who would you be, and how would you behave, if you didn’t believe the thought, “I am surrounded by illness and suffering"?
Now turn the thought around, as I have done below. Find three genuine examples in your life for how each of these new thoughts is as true as the original thought.
I am not surrounded by illness and suffering.
My patients are surrounded by illness and suffering.
My thoughts surround me with illness and suffering.
Do you have 7 and a half minutes for your self-care today?
Grab a seated position, with your spine straight, legs and arms uncrossed, and palms open toward the sky.
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This is a Call and Response version of the Purification Mantra. I invite you to listen to my voice, and repeat along with the group.
Notice the duration of each breath and each sound.
No thinking! Just listening! And play...
Focus on the SOUNDS, without worrying about the meaning or translation of words.
If you have trouble sustaining your attention, try noticing when your mind wanders, and notice what thoughts arise in your mind when this happens. Then gently bring your attention back to the sounds.
Attempt to focus your attention on the quality of all sounds - those coming from the recording and coming from you.
I use this mantra when my mind feels distracted and overactive, when I want to find my center of freedom before a presentation, a class, or seeing a client. When do you find it useful?
If you have behaved yourself into a situation, you must behave yourself out of it!
The behavior in this case is the behavior of the mind. As a physician, you went through systematic training of the mind to get you to believe certain thoughts. When was the last time you questioned one of these thoughts?
Learning that the mind's natural tendency is to attach to certain thoughts and believe them; and observing that the root of all painful, stressful feelings is believing certain thoughts, was revolutionary for me. I uncovered a system of thoughts that I believed without question, and realized that I already had all the freedom I was longing for. I simply had to question my thoughts.
To show you how this process works, it's best to use real examples.
Each week I’m going to take a stressful thought that is central to the physician’s belief system, and question it. Follow along, and even listen in on the audio podcast as you do your own work on the same thought.
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*This process is based on The Work of Byron Katie. For more information, visit www.thework.com.
A list of physicians’ common stressful thoughts:
“I need to take care of patients.”
“I am surrounded by illness, suffering, and death.”
“Patients demand my time.”
“People need me to respond.”
“I need to fill out paperwork.”
“There is too much paperwork.”
“My job is stressful.”
“Medicine is a stressful profession.”
“I don’t have enough time.”
“I have too many patients.”
“I am responsible for my patients.”
“I am responsible for keeping my patients healthy.”
“I am responsible for alleviating my patients’ pain and suffering.”
“I can’t make a mistake.”
“I need to do the right thing.”
“I work too many hours.”
“I don’t get paid enough.”
“I don’t get enough respect.”
“I need to be more efficient.”
“I already paid my dues.”
“I sacrificed myself to become a doctor.”
“I’m dealing with life or death issues.”
“This is more than just a job.”
“I need to find meaning in my job.”
“I’m too busy.”
“It’s not worth it.”
“I trained all those years to be able to do my job.”
“I’ve worked so hard already.”
“I can’t give up my job.”
“I need to put my training to good use.”
“I need to put the patient first.”
“My needs are secondary to the patient’s.”
“The system needs an overhaul.”
“I am a doctor.”
Can you come up with any more, based on your own experience?
Make your own list, and follow along as I question each of these thoughts.
Today's thought: "I need to take care of my patients."
The questions:
Is it true?
Can you know that it is absolutely, 100% true?
How do you react, and how do you behave, when you believe the thought, "I need to take care of my patients"?
What is the payoff you get for believing the thought, "I need to take care of my patients"?
What are you afraid might happen if you didn't believe the thought, "I need to take care of my patients"?
Who would you be, and how would you behave, if you didn't believe the thought, "I need to take care of my patients"?
Now turn the thought around, as I have done below. Find three genuine examples in your life for how each of these new thoughts is as true as the original thought.
"I don't need to take care of my patients."
Examples:
Some common complaints and illnesses (upper respiratory infections) resolve themselves on their own.
There are some issues impacting a patient's health that cannot be solved by a doctor's intervention.
I can choose not to be a doctor practicing clinical medicine and taking care of patients.
"My patients need to take care of themselves."
Behavior changes such as exercise, smoking cessation, and diet are examples of how patients can take care of themselves.
Giving patients the tools and information to take better care of themselves is a recognized need in improving health care.
Patients can improve communication with their doctors by being more informed and asking the right questions.
"I need to take care of myself."
As a doctor, I am a model of health to my patients.
If I am tired and depleted, I have limited capacity to take care of another person.
The way I lead my life sends a powerful message to my patients, to my family, and to other doctors.
Take the time to find examples that feel genuine to you, and that come from your own life.
Notice where you are facing resistance to this process, and when your mind wants to "speed up" rather than find the examples.